Especially For Parents Archives - Pajama School Blog

More Than a Mother’s Heart

January 2, 2016 by natalie

It’s been a little over two years now since God gave me the privilege of becoming a wife and mom. Through many ups and downs, challenges and joys, God has knit our hearts together and made us a family. As I was reflecting on what God has shown me about having a mother’s heart over these last two years I was inspired to write the following poem. It’s a glimpse into what I have experienced, and I think any mother of adopted children will relate.

More Than a Mother’s Heart

It happened unexpectedly
Less like butterflies I’d heard about
More like vertigo
Like my world being turned upside down.
A man
Four children
All gifts to me from God
The answer to my prayers
The dreams I never knew I had.
Was I ready
A questioning counselor probed
To be a mother
To these precious souls?
No
Of course not
How could I know what to be
what to expect?
But a stronger hand was holding mine
Leading me
Gripping me
Keeping me from falling
From turning back
From missing the blessing.
The journey continued
And prayers sprang forth
Every day
From the depths of my soul
As I gazed into expectant eyes
And welcoming faces
To have the heart a mother would
To love them as my own.
It’s different though
A friend insisted
The love for those adopted
Not quite as real
Not quite as strong.
My broken heart raced to my knees
To plead with God again
Don’t let it be true
Surely my heart is big enough
To love
As any mother could.
It was then God whispered
Words of truth
Enlightened me
Surrounded me
Filled me
With length and breadth and height and depth
Of love beyond compare
To stand the test of time
To conquer every foe
To surpass all bounds.
And I knew
That He could give me more
Far more
Abundantly more
Than I could ask
Or imagine
Even more than a mother’s heart.

Trying to Get Around Patience and Testing

February 28, 2015 by natalie

The following quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer is both insightful and challenging. I was especially struck by his assessment that a propensity to doubt and incessantly re-evaluate why we are traversing a particular course is often spurred on by an aversion to the patience and testing being required of us in a time of difficulty. The very patience and testing that we are told to expect and joyfully embrace as followers of Christ. I am all too guilty of this as a homeschool mom.

“I’m not quite sure how, we have largely got into a way of thinking which is positively dangerous. We think that we are acting particularly responsibly if every other week we take another look at the question whether the way on which we have set out is the right one. It is particularly noticeable that such a ‘responsible reappraisal’ always begins the moment serious difficulties appear. We then speak as though we no longer had ‘a proper joy and certainty’ about this way, or, still worse, as though God and his Word were no longer as clearly present with us as they used to be. In all this we are ultimately trying to get round what the New Testament calls ‘patience’ and ‘testing.’ Paul, at any rate, did not begin to reflect whether his way was the right one when opposition and suffering threatened, nor did Luther. They were both quite certain and glad that they should remain disciples and followers of their Lord.

“Dear brethren, our real trouble is no doubt about the way upon which we have set out, but our failure to be patient, to keep quiet. We still cannot imagine that today God really doesn’t want anything new for us, but simply to prove us in the old way. That is too petty, too monotonous, too undemanding for us. And we simply cannot be constant with the fact that God’s cause is not always the successful one, that we really could be ‘unsuccessful’: and yet be on the right road. But this is where we find out whether we have begun in faith or in a burst of enthusiasm.”

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The truth is I don’t like waiting patiently for my children to develop the character I think they should have right now. I don’t like being tested in my resolve by their complaints and resistance to the instruction and assignments I work so hard to plan and impart to them. I don’t like the petty monotony of addressing the same issues day after day after day…

The higher truth, though, is that this is the path of faith that God has called me to walk. Faithfully, patiently training and discipling my children to seek the Lord and love Him with all their hearts. When my patience is tried and difficulties abound, rather than shrinking back and succumbing to doubts and the escapism of reassessing my path, I want to lay aside all of these weights and instead run with endurance the race that is set before me (Hebrews 12:1).

Interview with Homeschool Graduate Arlen Busenitz Highlights Thoughts on Courtship and Dating

February 22, 2012 by natalie

Note: Following is an interview I conducted with homeschool graduate Arlen Busenitz for the Home Educating Family magazine. Check out the latest Spring 2012 issue for tons of great articles on a wide variety of topics!

Arlen Busenitz When did you begin homeschooling, and what did you think of it?
I was home schooled starting at kindergarten. It was a great experience. Mom kept us on a schedule, but gave us time to pursue other areas as well. I was interested in farming, so I spent extra time researching and writing papers on it. I also spent many hours outside working on our farm.

Did your parents do anything specific that helped cultivate an entrepreneurial spirit?
They encouraged me to pursue my ideas. Through high school I created a couple of computer games called “Catch” & “Paddle Ball.” Ever heard of them? They could have been the next Pac-man, but fizzled out before they got off the ground. J A successful person told me, “You will have to experience a number of failures before you succeed. The quicker you get the failures out of the way, the sooner you will succeed.”

Right after high school, my parents started selling vegetables at the farmer’s market. I cleared some space in the back of the pickup and hauled in 500 pounds of landscape rocks. People bought, and my first real business started. For two years I sold rocks and earned enough to help pay for college, my first car, and 21 sessions at the chiropractor. My parents did what all parents can do: encourage their kids in their areas of interest and give them space to pursue them.

You speak on a variety of different topics, including the importance of a balanced approach to dating and courtship. Could you share a few points on this topic that might be helpful for parents and young people approaching this stage of life?
I have observed the negatives of both casual dating and strict courtship. Numerous romantic flings can cause young people to give their heart away many times and enter marriage with regrets and baggage. On the flip side, strict courtship can also leave a path of broken hearts. I have seen deep hurts caused by pressure from strict rules, ending relationships unnecessarily, and well-meaning parents driving away legitimate suitors.

What’s the answer? Don’t follow a system, a book, or what everyone else is doing. Use wisdom and biblical principles. Every situation will look different. What’s best for 18-year olds may not be best for 27-year olds. Here are some tips I have found helpful:

Focus on building friendships.

You don’t have to date around to find out which personalities you click with. Build friendships with the opposite sex. Hang out with friends. In this safe environment you can discover what you want in a spouse.

Do not stir up love before its time.

Solomon mentioned this in Song of Solomon. This will solve 90+% of dating/courting problems. Giving your heart away too soon, stirring up desires in the other person you can’t fulfill, and talking about marriage prematurely will create additional heartache. This is not just a problem for casual dating. Numerous guys and girls have mentioned the overwhelming pressure of a strict courtship. It takes time to build a relationship without having to determine in the first month if you’re going to get married or not.

Make decisions out of wisdom, not fear, pride, or what others think.

I know of a case where a father would not let his 33-year old daughter ride to church with a Christian guy because a book said that was not a good idea. Use some wisdom. In the same way, just because every other 16-year old girl is going out Friday night does not mean it’s a wise idea. Every parent, daughter, and son should ask, “Am I doing what’s best for the relationship, or am I acting out of pride, selfishness, or fear of what others will think?”

Guard your heart

Don’t give your heart away to someone unless you are both positive you will get married. Let it go slowly. Many give away their heart repeatedly through casual dating. Don’t get serious too soon. Strict courtship has burned some of my friends because marriage plans were in the works too quickly.

Date only someone who is a potential spouse and break it off if you don’t see it going anywhere.

If you get romantically attached to someone whom you can’t or shouldn’t marry, you’ll both get hurt. In the same way, why stay in a relationship if one or both of you don’t see it working out?

Treat the opposite sex like you want your future spouse treated.

A common question is: “How far is too far?” How do you want another guy or girl to treat your future spouse? Do the same. Walk in wisdom. Honor God. Build character. Do this and you’ll successfully navigate the path through singleness and into marriage.

What other topics do you like to speak on?
Currently, I am focusing on two main topics. First, helping people overcome their fear of public speaking and equipping them to be better speakers. I do this through speaking, coaching, teaching classes, and writing.

Second, I help people Shrink the Gap^TM in their life. All of us have gaps between where we are and where we want to be. It could be with finances, relationships, time management, health, etc. After much research and experimentation I have found practical strategies that enable a person to Shrink the Gap in every area of life. I’ll be releasing more of these on my blog at ShrinktheGap.com.

You used to be shy as a child, but now you’ve given over 650 presentations in four different countries. What happened?
First, my parents “strongly encouraged” me to take a public speaking class and go through leadership training. Public speaking is a great way to break free from shyness. In the classes I teach, shy people are often the best speakers.

Second, I learned that shyness is a form of selfishness. When a shy person is standing in the corner not talking to anyone, they are thinking about themselves and their negative feelings. I coach people to get out and focus on other people. When you focus on making other people feel important and have a good time, you will break free from shyness.

Third, when I started selling rocks at the farmers market, I was making ten cents an hour. My selling skills and people skills were poor. I hit the local library and checked out dozens of books on people skills, selling, and conversation skills. I applied what I learned, sales took off, and I was able to make friends fast. Many of these concepts are in my book Conversation Magic: Improve Your Conversation Skills in One Evening.

What tips do you have for others who want to become more effective communicators?
Practice, Practice, Practice. If you’re a parent, train your children to look at others when talking. Have them give “off-the-cuff” speeches where they stand up and talk for one minute on a designated topic.

If you are over 18, join Toastmasters. There are thousands of clubs across the United States. Going to one would be a good field trip for a home school family (students younger than 18 can observe).

Check out Speakinginfo.com for lots of additional resources!

The Duggars

June 24, 2011 by natalie

Check out this amazing promotion for the Duggar’s new book, A Love That Multiplies! Pajama School is participating, so if you order A Love That Multiplies between June 28-30, you’ll receive a coupon code for 25% off of Pajama School – plus dozens of other freebies and discounts from other companies! View all of the incredible deals below:



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Thank You! 20 Homeschool Grads Tip Their Hats to Homeschooling Parents

June 17, 2010 by natalie

As my generation of homeschool graduates begins to make their way in the world, more and more of us are recognizing the incredible legacy that our parents have given us. That’s why I am thrilled to be a part of a project initiated by Amy Puetz that compiles the writings of 20 homeschool graduates as they reflect on their homeschooling experiences. Amy’s vision resulted in a wonderful e-book called, Thank You! 20 Homeschool Grads Tip Their Hats to Homeschooling Parents. The book is sure to be a blessing and encouragement to many homeschooling parents (and students and graduates as well – I know I’m enjoying reading the other contributions!).

Thank You! 20 Homeschool Grads Tip Their Hats to Homeschooling Parents

Here’s a peek at the 20 homeschool grads that contributed to Thank You!:

Kevin Swanson – Generations with Vision
Amy Puetz – AmyPuetz.com
Rachel Starr Thomson – RachelStarrThomson.com
Candace Allgood – Sonbeams
John Notgrass – JohnNotgrass.com
Lea Ann Garfias – Whatever State
Jana Kornfeld – A Time 2 Write
Jonathan Lewis – Homeschool Enrichment
Katherine Loop – Christian Perspective
Rachel Ramey – Titus 2 Homemaker
Daniel Mills – Salem Ridge Press
Mary Evelyn McCurdy – Christian Musical Theatre
Matthew Lewis – Homeschool Enrichment
Abby Kelly
Natalie Wickham – Pajama School
Eleonore Kappenman – Kap and Pen
Samantha Jarrett – Sammer’s Stuff
Emily Topp – Homeschool CPA
Amanda Read – AmandaRead.com
Eric Novak – Cross-Eyed Blog

The e-book is priced at $7, but is available until the end of June as a free download, so grab it now while you can! 🙂 After June, 2010, you can purchase it at AmyPuetz.com.

A Lasting Inheritance

May 17, 2010 by natalie

A while back now, I came across Amy Puetz’s website. Wow! What a wealth of information and resources! I especially love this collection of history resource links. Amy has channeled her love of history into numerous writing projects, including the book, Uncover Exciting History – Revealing America’s Christian Heritage in Short, Easy-to-Read Nuggets, which I recently read and enjoyed. (Amy has graciously set up a discount code for Pajama School blog readers so that you can receive a 20% discount when you order her book. Just enter the code: UEH when you checkout at her site!) Amy also has a heart for encouraging homeschool families, so I am pleased to post here today a special article she wrote to encourage homeschool moms.

A Lasting Inheritance
by Amy Puetz

“When I go to school, I’m overwhelmed,” an outgoing high school girl said to me one Sunday. “Usually I’m okay, but sometimes it just hits me how much garbage I see and hear every day.” I looked at her sympathetically. This conversation took place after church, when I welcomed a young lady who was visiting. She looked at least twenty years old, so I was surprised when she told me she was a junior in high school. Within a few moments of talking, this sweet girl had tears in her eyes as she shared the story of what life was like at school. Words like battleground and attacks kept coming up as she explained how her faith was undermined by her peers. She and I hit it off immediately, and I tried to encourage her to keep the faith.

How many people, including adults, could go through 7-8 hours of brain washing everyday for 12 years and come out unscathed? Put on top of all that the influences of peers who shape a student’s perspective of the world and of themselves. How my heart aches for these precious children who are thrown into a battle that they are not equipped to fight.

Many parents have chosen to homeschool their children rather than send them into the halls of ungodly schools. The blessings of homeschooling are many. Unfortunately, the blessings do not come easily, and as homeschool parents will testify, it is hard work. Most homeschools are taught by the mom, and there are days when she will be overwhelmed, frustrated, and irritable. Hang in there! Mothers are probably the most overworked, under-appreciated people in the world. With love and kindness, they cook, clean, organize, run errands, teach, advise, supervise, and juggle a hundred different jobs.

As a single gal, I love to watch my friends move into the role of motherhood. Seeing my friends struggle with the feeling of being overwhelmed, I’ve realized for the first time how difficult being a mother is. I want to take a few minutes to say “thank you” to all the wonderful mothers out there. You may be running low on energy and feeling inadequate, but I want you to know that what you are doing is important, and someday your children will appreciate the sacrifices you are making. I am so grateful to my mother, for the love and time she invested in my life. Your children will have the same kind of gratitude towards you someday, too. Please know that even if you are not getting the pats on the back that a “career” woman might get, God sees what you are doing, and the way you are giving yourself to your family. He will reward you with greater gifts than any human accolade.

May God bless you, dear mothers! You are impacting the world in ways you may never know. Please do not grow faint hearted. As a homeschool graduate I want to say “keep pressing on!” I’m so glad my mom didn’t give up when my sisters and I were far from angelic. When Mom was really stressed, we always knew it because she would wear a T-shirt that had a picture of a frazzled smiley face with large eyes, and the word “stressed” written under it in big letters. Children cannot comprehend the huge responsibility of parenting. Someday they will understand, but for now, please keep up the good work. You are important, and are fulfilling a meaningful job.

Although you know you are doing valuable work, there will be days when you must feel overwhelmed. It would be silly for me to offer some practical advice about how to overcome the feeling of inadequacy. I’ve never been there, but I do know that relying on God to fill in our deficiencies is critical. “Where God guides, He provides” is an old saying that rings true. Since God has led you on the journey of homeschooling, He will provide the strength and wisdom to get you through.

There are many blessings that result from a family’s faithfulness in teaching their children the ways of the Lord at home. Strong family bonds would be at the top of my list. When my family began homeschooling I was in the 8th grade, and we immediately began to experience a closeness that we had never known before. It was amazing to spend time with my sisters and mom.

During this time I discovered that my mom could be fun! One time while we were preparing to do a history lesson, we gathered around Mom on the couch. My older sister asked, “Mom, what are we going to study today?”

“We are going to study about Napoleon and his defeat at Waterloo,” she replied. We could not stay on task, and began to talk with each other before the class even began. To get our attention, Mom lifted her feet in the air and said, “Napoleon faced de feet!” Laughing, my sisters and I settled down to begin our lesson.

Homeschooling also offers a flexibility that adapts to difficult situations. During my last years of high school, I began experiencing severe health problems, which made study difficult. At times I could not even comprehend simple math problems that had always been easy before. Since we homeschooled, I was able to work at my own pace and rest when I needed a break.

Another blessing is the spiritual growth that a family enjoys. A homeschool family does not have to deal with the negative influences that are so prevalent in traditional schools, and they are free to spend more time growing spiritually. Character development and Bible study can easily become part of the daily curriculum. This course of study will have a lasting impact on students and determine their path through life.

Homeschooling is hard, which is why I personally want to encourage you to stay the course. As a homeschool graduate, I’m so thankful that my parents taught me at home. The education I received at the feet of my parents has given me a stronger relationship with God and my family. It has also provided the foundation on which to build a meaningful life. Your experiences will be different from mine, but God will always be the same. When a family homeschools, they are making an investment that will be a lasting inheritance to their children–and, in a bigger scope, to the world.

© 2010 Amy Puetz, www.AmyPuetz.com

Amy Puetz (pronounced Pitts) is a homeschool graduate, a self-taught historian, and a servant of Jesus Christ. History has been a passion for her since childhood. Years of in-depth study (both in modern and old sources) have equipped her to write history-related books. Amy Puetz is the author of Uncover Exciting History: Revealing America’s Christian Heritage in Short, Easy-to-Read Nuggets and Countdown to Christmas: Memory Making Stories and Activities for Every Day from December 1st to the 25th. As a columnist for Home School Enrichment Magazine she shares stories about historical events from a Christian worldview. She especially loves to dig for little-known stories that show God’s providential hand. Because of a chronic illness (fibromyalgia) that limits what she can do, the Lord led her to start an online business which she can do from home.

Inspiring Unmotivated Kids

February 15, 2010 by natalie

In his periodic e-newsletter, Jeff Myers always has valuable educational insights. In his latest newsletter, he included an article titled, Inspiring Unmotivated Kids: What to Do, and What to Not Do. Drawing on research from Daniel Pink’s book, Drive, he identifies several practical ideas that parents and/or educators can use to properly motivate children:

Have a FedEx Day.
Try DIY Report Cards.
Give them an allowance and some chores–but don’t combine them.
Offer praise…the right way.
Help kids see the big picture.

Check out the article for details about each of these great ideas!

Bible Lessons for Preschoolers

February 9, 2010 by natalie

Julia, a good friend of mine with three young children has recently started a blog with Bible Lessons for Preschoolers. Julia is a gifted writer, curriculum developer, and mother – a great combination for this creative blog! In searching for and researching available materials to begin homeschooling her children, Julia had a difficult time tracking down any Bible Lessons specifically designed for this age. Thus was borne her blog and The Proverbs Project. I LOVE the lesson plans she has put together for this!

Each lesson plan for The Proverbs Project is centered on a specific character-building theme, and includes a Bible verse, one or two activities, and a prayer point. If you are looking for a simple, but powerful, way to begin training young children in biblical wisdom, you will love these lessons, too!

Bible Lessons for Preschoolers

I was able to visit Julia and her family last week and can testify to how much her little ones loved the lessons! Here they are pictured working their way through the obstacle course we designed to go along with a lesson on diligence.

Win a Free Ticket to the Heart of the Matter Online Conference!

February 1, 2010 by natalie

As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I’ve been asked to speak at the 2010 Heart of the Matter Online Conference. The conference will be February 22-24, 2010, and you can enjoy the whole thing from the comfort of your own home! Here’s a tid bit from their website:

Are your feet dragging? Do you need a little pick-me-up? Winter is wrapping up and we are anxious for spring — for green, for sunshine, for life, for a little oomph in our homeschool day. It’s easy to get bogged down and for things to turn hum-drum.

A Woman Inspired and Heart of the Matter Online are excited to bring you a Homeschool Refresher conference that is sure to give you a boost.

This conference will feature some speakers chosen specifically for their ability to revive, rejuvenate, and renew the hearts and minds of their audience. You are sure to walk away motivated and inspired to achieve great things!

Incredibly, the full price for the conference is only $12.95, but HOTM has allocated five free tickets to give away on my blog! All you have to do is leave a comment below to enter the giveaway drawing. And…if you want to earn extra entries in the drawing, just post about it on your blog, twitter, or facebook with a link back to this post and leave another comment letting me know about the additional postings. I’ll give you one additional entry for each place that you post!Thanks for helping spread the word!

(BTW, you can click here to view the page for my workshop: Everything Your Child Needs to Know and How to Teach it to Them.

4 Key Components of a Successful 21st Century Education

October 19, 2009 by natalie

In his latest column [Opportunity Knocks Twice] in WORLD Magazine, Marvin Olasky concludes his optimistic discourse on the future of journalism with the following statement:

So now is a great time for Christians to support young Christian journalists. Build programs that educate them in biblical understanding and train them to write, do video, and produce terrific websites. Give the kids enough money to eat peanut butter and fumigate the roaches. Right now we have the opportunity to change the path of journalism for the next 150 years.

I love this outlook! Media has such an undeniable influence in our society, and with modern globalization and universal access to various mediums of communication, almost anyone has a platform to be a journalist in some capacity. I echo Marvin Olasky’s sentiment and would add that the four areas he highlights are key components that every homeschooling parent should incorporate into the education of their children:

1. Biblical Training/Worldview

2. Excellent Writing Skills

3. Ability to Produce Videos (and I would include in this an understanding of how to contrive an appropriate plot, visualize and script it, capture the desired shots, and make it accessible via the Internet)

4. Website Navigation and Construction

Not only are these areas which can be harnessed by people of all ages to make a difference in the world, they also represent marketable skills that will be useful in any vocational field and are essential knowledge for entrepreneurs who aim to build their own businesses.

Although I’ve never considered it this succinctly, I affirm that these four areas (with the one distinction being that for #3 I would include video production instead as a sub-category in a larger study of verbal communication skills) are the ones that have afforded me the most opportunities and equipped me to serve and influence the people around me. In fact, come to think of it, these four areas are ones that I discuss more fully in my book, Pajama School – stories from the life of a homeschool graduate. But I’m quite certain neither Mom and Dad nor I thought in such concrete terms in our early years of homeschooling! How glad I am, though, that homeschooling provided me with the flexibility to make these four areas of study an integral part of my education.

EXTRA NOTE: If you’re interested in receiving a free PDF of Marvin Olasky’s book, “Central Ideas in the Development of American Journalism” send them an e-mail requesting it.